Man, 26, is slammed after telling his girlfriend she ‘isn’t worth’ a $10,000 engagement ring
A man has been slammed after telling his girlfriend she ‘isn’t worth’ a $10,000 engagement ring.
The Reddit user, under the username ‘Dry-Body-7578,’ asked: ‘AITA for not wanting to get my girlfriend an “expensive” engagement ring,’ under the popular subreddit ‘Am I The A.’
The couple, who are both 26 years old, have been together for four years, and the man shared that they have ‘always seemed to be on the same page when it comes to saving money,’ and he ‘assumed she would be fine with a more affordable ring.’
However, when he mentioned to her that he was looking at engagement rings in the $1,500-1,800 range, ‘she insisted she wanted a real diamond ring,’ within the $6,500-10,000 range instead.
A man has been slammed after telling his girlfriend she ‘isn’t worth’ a $10,000 engagement ring (pictured is the Reddit post)
The Reddit user asked: ‘AITA for not wanting to get my girlfriend an “expensive” engagement ring,’ under the popular subreddit ‘Am I The A******’ (stock image)
The Reddit user explained that despite his girlfriend growing up ‘relatively well off,’ she was ‘pretty low maintenance.’
He explained: ‘She’s never cared about designer brands, rarely buys new clothes, and the jewelry she owns was gifted to her.’
The man who has an $80,000 annual salary, shared that he’s ‘been saving for a while,’ and he added: ‘When I started looking into rings, I discovered moissanite rings, which look similar to diamond rings, but are much more affordable.’
They discussed his research together, and he let her know that he ‘wasn’t willing to spend that much.’
He wrote in the post: ‘She seemed genuinely mad and said it wasn’t “that expensive.”
‘We got in a pretty big argument over it. I told her that it was ridiculous to ask me to spend that much, and that I thought she was more reasonable than that.
‘She said I was being cheap, and that I could afford it, and that I was basically saying she wasn’t worth it. I told her no one is worth a $10,000 ring.
‘Eventually my girlfriend said she didn’t care, and that I should get whatever ring I want, but she’s clearly still mad, and I know this is going to be an ongoing argument.
The post got more than 12,000 votes and 4,200 mixed comments. Many people said ‘YTA’ when it came to the Reddit user
‘I’m a bit frustrated because this seems out of left field. I’ve always known marriage is super important to her, but I didn’t realize she’d insist on a diamond ring.’
The Reddit user went to his older sister to get another perspective, and although she agreed that diamond rings were ‘stupidly priced,’ she ended up taking the girlfriend’s side.
She mentioned to him that being that he ‘could afford it, she didn’t see the big deal,’ and she told him that his girlfriend has ‘done so much’ for him.
She even called him an ‘a’ when it came to the situation.
He shared the couple’s history to provide further context and said: ‘She was really supportive when I was in a serious car accident four years ago.
‘I broke multiple bones and required a few surgeries. Although, where I live, most healthcare is covered, I was unable to work for awhile, and had expenses I wasn’t able to pay.
‘I had been dating my girlfriend for only six months at the time, and she was really there for me. I couldn’t pay my rent, so she let me move in with her for free, and helped pay for a few expenses and for physical therapy [that] I needed.
‘She also helped me get a job with her uncle who was the VP of an insurance company (it was an entry level position, and I had a business degree, so it’s not like I was unqualified).
‘Obviously I’ve thanked her for all she did for me, but it’s not something we talk about much.
‘I don’t think I’m obligated to buy an expensive ring, because she helped me out a few years ago.
‘But if my own sister said this, I’m guessing my girlfriend must feel the way as well. AITA here?’
He edited the post to include: ‘Edit: This post got way more attention then I expected. I’ve definitely reconsidered my stance. I’m going to talk about this more with her. Thanks for all your help.’
One person wrote: ‘YTA. She is typically low maintenance and agreeable. She supported you, and stepped up when you needed her without complaint’
The Reddit user provided more context in the comments and added: ‘Part of the reason for the cost is because she wanted at least a one-carat-ring with a particular cut, color and clarity.
‘She had clearly done a lot of research about it tbh. Maybe she would be willing to compromise about the ring price though.
‘Lol she’s definitely not a gold digger. Honestly my girlfriend has never brought up how much she helped me or asked me to pay her back – not even in a fight. But since my sister mentioned it, I just wondered if that’s how she feels.
‘[I want to be] saving for a house, vacations [and] kids. I just paid off my student loans. I know how much weddings can cost.
‘Her parents would probably pay for most of it though. (This isn’t us being entitled – she’s said that she would love to elope, but it would break her parents’ heart, and that they even have money set aside for a wedding.)’
The post got more than 12,000 votes and 4,200 mixed comments.
Many people said ‘YTA’ when it came to the Reddit user.
One person wrote: ‘YTA. She is typically low maintenance and agreeable. She supported you, and stepped up when you needed her without complaint.
‘She had asked for this one thing you find unreasonable, but can afford…it’s something she is going to wear every day for the rest of her life.
‘Talk with her about it. Ask her to explain why it’s so important to her – without interrupting or arguing (that part is important).
‘When it’s your turn, tell her why you think [it] is too much (focus on how you could use that money together – not just on it being “wasteful”).’
The post continued: ‘Why you find it wasteful even though you can afford it is what matters. “No one is worth $10,000” sounds a lot like, “I don’t love you that much” in the heat of the moment).
‘Once you have both given real, understandable, calm reasons, try to find a compromise if you still disagree. A diamond is important to her, so can you give her a budget you feel is responsible?
Other followers said the Reddit user was ‘NTA’ (Not The A)
‘Can you nudge that budget into an area that feels slightly uncomfortable to you. Neither of you may love the feeling of compromise, but that’s what a healthy marriage takes.
‘She’s already shown you the “richer/poorer, sickness and health part.” Now show her you can work with her to find solutions when you disagree.’
A second person commented: ‘YTA. “I don’t think I’m obligated to buy an expensive ring because she helped me out a few years ago.” My man, your girlfriend isn’t obligated to marry you.’
A third person added: ‘YTA. Diamond rings start at $3,500. [For] $1,500…a lot of people spend more on a gaming set up that will be outdated in four years, or other hobby equipment.
‘You are being cheap here. So for me there would’ve been room for compromise by looking for cheaper options in similar styles then your girlfriend sent you.’
A fourth person wrote: ‘YTA. This is a ring she’s going to be wearing 24/7 for the rest of her life. That is a HUGE deal.
‘By your own admission, she’s not a materialistic person – this is just the one thing she wants. $6,000 spread out over the next 60 plus years is absolutely a worthy investment for your future wife.
‘It’s not about you owing her for her helping you. She did that because she loves you. This girl never asks for anything. You should be doing this because you love her. It would be different if you straight up couldn’t afford it, but clearly you can.’
A fifth person commented: ‘So you have, in your own words, a “pretty low-maintenance” girlfriend, and she’s asking you to splurge one time on the most important material item you can give to a romantic partner- an engagement ring.
‘It’s fine if an expensive ring isn’t in the budget right now. But simply tell her that, and continue to save up.
‘If you really love this woman and appreciate the way she supported you after your accident, then you should want to return the favor in her own love language – not belittle her by saying things like, “I thought you were more reasonable than that.” YTA for sure – especially how you’ve been going about this.’
One person wrote: ‘NTA. 10k?? On a RING??? Jesus that’s expensive’
Other followers said the Reddit user was ‘NTA’ (Not The A).
One person wrote: ‘NTA. Your girlfriend throwing a fit over this is a red flag. Maybe I’m wrong. Ask her if you can compromise. Maybe go for a $5,000-6,000 ring. If she still protests, maybe you should rethink this proposal.
‘Correction: No one who throws a tantrum over not getting a $10,000 ring is worth a $10,000 ring. NTA.’
A second person commented: ‘If you have the money, and can afford it, buy it, but seriously, just because your girlfriend did help you out in your time of need doesn’t mean she’s entitled to a super expensive engagement ring. NTA.’
A third person added: ‘NTA. The number one reason for divorce is money issues. If you have a girl who expects a $10,000 diamond, then she is materialistic and you should run for the hills and don’t marry her.’
A fourth person wrote: ‘NTA. 10k?? On a RING??? Jesus that’s expensive.’
A fifth person commented: ‘NTA. Diamonds aren’t even worth the price they retail for. Doesn’t matter if you have the money or not. It’s the thought that counts, and you should buy her something that’s her style, that suits her.
‘I don’t think the price tag makes it more sentimental. I think she should focus on putting that money into something more meaningful for you all, like a really dope honeymoon or a house.
‘I feel like people put too much pressure on the industry of marriage and weddings as a whole. Nothing wrong with choosing alternatives to diamonds.’